I very recently discovered ‘destination
addiction’. I say very recently because up until now I didn’t quite
realize there was a term for it- made up or not, it suddenly made sense
to me.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve
thought ‘I will be happy when….’ or in fact how many times I’ve said it.
‘I will be happy when I lose 25 lbs’, ‘I will be happy when my
boyfriend and I sort things out’, ‘I will be happy when my hair grows
out’. And the list goes on and on.
Don’t get me wrong I still do it now- believe
that happiness is a destination, that somehow it’s never truly where I
am. It’s in a place where quite frankly things are perfect and rosy. Its
normal to feel anxious for instance before an exam or work deadline and
then be relieved and happy when it’s done, however putting life on hold
because you’re waiting for perfect conditions is unhealthy and really
no way to live- Note to self.
I put off things like getting a PT certificate
because I was waiting to lose 25lbs- still haven’t trained for that PT
certificate and shhhhh about the 25lbs. I was constantly waiting for
perfect conditions to do things, waiting for that perfect destination
where happiness was waiting for me. It’s taking a lot of time and a lot
of convincing myself that I can choose to be happy where I am now, not
25lbs lighter, single, struggling to save up money for all my dreams. I
no longer have to wait to be in a relationship to be happy, to have a
hefty bank account or be a certain size.
Not every day is as positive as this one, But I
remind myself constantly that it will all be okay. I’ve relaunched my
fitness website, I’m not waiting to be a certain size to post my ‘outfit
of the day’ and I’m embracing each day whatever life throws at me. If
happiness is a destination then it’s right here, right now, where I am~
Namaste.
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